• Domestic violence occurs when a person consistently aims to control their partner through physical, sexual, or emotional abuse. 
• Domestic violence can be physical or psychological, and it can affect anyone of any age, gender, race, or sexual orientation. 
• It may include behaviors meant to scare, physically harm, or control a partner. 
• Domestic violence involves an unequal power dynamic in which one partner tries to assert control over the other in a variety of ways.
• Insults, threats, emotional abuse, and sexual coercion all constitute domestic violence.
• Abusers may use children or other family members as emotional leverage to get their victim to do what they want.
• Victims of domestic violence experience diminished self-worth, anxiety, depression, and a general sense of helplessness that can take time and often professional help to overcome.

What types of abuse constitute domestic violence?

Abusive relationships can take many different forms, such as physical abuse (hitting, pushing, or denying medical care), emotional abuse (manipulation, threats, or name-calling), sexual abuse (rape, assault, or pressuring the person to have sex), and economic abuse (withholding funds or putting someone in debt).

Why do partners become abusive?

• Abuse is driven by the desire for control—to maintain power in the relationship and assume a position of superiority. 
• Violence also involves troubling cultural norms, particularly in cases of men sexually assaulting women. 

Identifying an Abusive Partner

• Abusers aren’t easy to spot. In public, they can seem smart, trustworthy, and charming with a personality that draws people in, but in private, they are a waking nightmare. 
• Many abusers learn violence from their family and repeat the toxic patterns with their own partner or children. 
• They are also more likely to have legal and substance abuse problems.
• Abusers often believe in traditional gender roles, particularly that a woman’s main priority should be to care for their partner and children. 
• They have to be in control and are especially prone to jealousy, accusing their partner of cheating without any reason or needing to know where their partner is at all times.

How do abusive partners act?

• Abusers often isolate their victims from family, friends, work, and any other outside sources of support. 
• They may have explosive tempers and become violent during an abusive episode; afterward, they become remorseful and try to woo their partner back with charm and affection and promises to change, but the abusive behavior rarely stops.

How can you tell if you’re in an abusive relationship?

• Abusive relationships center around control and power.
• A pattern of violence—episodes interspersed with apologies, gifts, and promises to stop
• Isolating the victim from friends, family, hobbies, or even their job
• Instilling guilt in the victim for their behavior or wanting more freedom

What are the signs of domestic violence?

• Outside of physical abuse, subtler signs of domestic abuse include extremely controlling behavior, aggression, blame, and severe jealousy and possessiveness. 
• One of the most concerning signs of domestic violence is strangulation: Studies find that abuse involving strangulation is one of the strongest predictors of attempting or completing a murder.

How Abuse Impacts Victims

• It can take time before victims of domestic violence recognize their situation for what it is. 
• Abuse often leaves physical marks, from bruises and broken bones to shortness of breath and involuntary shaking. 
• Abuse victims can also suffer both short- and long-term emotional and psychological effects, including feelings of confusion or hopelessness, depression, anxiety, panic attacks, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

How does domestic violence affect children?

• Domestic violence can instill fear and confusion in a child, all while their caregiver is often physically or emotionally unavailable. 
• Children who witness domestic violence are more likely to struggle with insomnia, bed-wetting, verbal, motor, or cognitive challenges, anxiety, depression, self-harm, aggression, and domestic violence as an adult.

Overcoming Domestic Violence

• Leaving an abusive relationship is exceptionally challenging, both emotionally and practically. 
• The process involves acknowledging the abuse that’s occurring, finding support to leave safely, and processing the experience and the remaining pain or fear.
• Survivors can gradually work to rebuild the self-esteem that was damaged in the relationship. 
• Developing a non-judgmental support system, practicing self-care, and discussing the experience with a mental health professional can all help survivors in the aftermath of the relationship.

Why do people stay in abusive relationships?

• Identifying a pattern of abuse and making the decision to leave can be incredibly difficult. 
• A few of those barriers include financial stress, having nowhere else to go, the threat of violence, and a lack of support from law enforcement. 
• Family and social expectations may also create pressure to stay, especially when children are involved.

How can survivors heal from domestic violence?

• Survivors first need to acknowledge the abusive relationship. 
• Writing down a partner’s behavior to identify patterns and speaking with a trusted friend or family member can help. 
• Reaching out to a domestic violence organization can help with developing a safety plan to leave, and speaking with a therapist can help process the experience and rebuild self-esteem.

There are three stages to the cycle of violence:

• First is the tension building phase. In this phase, the batterer gets edgy and tension begins to build up. This is where the battered person may feel like they are walking on eggshells.
• Second is the actual explosion phase where the physical abuse occurs. It can last from a few minutes to several hours.
• Third is the honeymoon phase. The perpetrator may be sorry or act like nothing happened; but is still interested in making up and may even promise never to do it again. However, the tension almost always starts to build again, thus continuing the cycle.

THE CYCLE OF VIOLENCE AND POWER AND CONTROL

• The cycle of violence is a pattern of behaviors which keeps survivors locked in the abusive relationship.
• Understanding the cycle of violence is crucial in stopping relationship violence as well as in answering the most common questions regarding battering.
• Why do victims stay

Benefits of Domestic Violence Counseling?

1. Minimizes Negative Beliefs

This is an important first step in a survivor’s therapy because it allows them to mitigate the manipulation, gaslighting, and constant criticism their partner has attempted in order to devolve their self-esteem and self-worth. 

2. Learning the Pattern of Abuse in the Relationship

Because intimate partner violence can take several forms, therapy can help a survivor learn which abuse patterns exist in the relationship and may even uncover how those abuse behavior patterns serve to keep them in the relationship. 

3. Normalize the Survivor’s Feelings

A domestic abuse survivor may have feelings of anger, resentment, fear, guilt, or even sadness over the state of their relationship. Whether they experienced physical violence, emotional abuse, or any other kind of harmful behaviors with their intimate partner, the feelings are very complicated and hard to move through. therapy will enable them to normalize their feelings as they process them. 

4. Build a Network of Support

Group domestic violence counseling can be an enormous help to survivors, especially if the group is filled with survivors in different stages of their exit from their relationships. 

5. Development of a Safety Plan

With the help of their counselor, they can make the decision to leave as well as plan for any legal action they may have to take as well as plans to protect themselves if they choose to stay in the area.